Tuesday, July 16, 2013


And just like that I am pulled back into a place of anger.

He is just such a messed up person.  I was definitely blinded by his charisma, influenced to continue my relationship with him because he was attractive and charming.  I know I mentioned it before, but I do believe that he might have a mild psychological disorder.  Something just a bit more than the craziness that we all have.  Maybe borderline personality disorder?  ADD?  FAE?  Whatever it is, I just cannot understand what goes on in his mind.  It makes no sense.  Especially to someone like me who is very logical. 

He was fired from his job at the tax company at the end of tax season (April 30).  He reached out to his circle in Calgary, and quickly found a new job back at the investment company he worked at in 2009-2010.  This time as an assistant to one of the consultants.

On June 21, Calgary experienced a huge flood.  I texted my ex that morning just to check and see if he was ok.  He was actually just about to leave for work.  But the mayor of Calgary was telling everyone to stay home.  Areas close to the Elbow and Bow rivers started to be evacuated.  Transit was unable to operate downtown, including the C-train (as the tracks were under water).  Eventually he figured out that he didn't need to go into work that day.

The next day I texted him to remind him to pay the cable/internet/phone bill.  With the loss of his job, he had not been paying the full amount.  It is still listed under my name because I signed the agreement when we set it up about a year ago.

Well I got no response.  I figured his pay cheque would be used for rent at the end of the month, so I waited until yesterday and messaged him again to pay off the amount oweing. 

He finally got back to me at the end of the day and let me know that his job "didn't work out.  Boss was an asshole and wasn't getting paid enough".  WTF?  I have no idea if he quit or was fired.  Yet again he is out of work.  This was the 7th job he held in the past 5 years - 2 of those he quit, 2 of those he was let go, and 2 where he was fired, and then this one.  So of course this means that he can't switch the last couple of financial ties that we have into his name (including the cable), because he won't pass the credit check (they want him to work at the same place for at least 3 months). 


If I had just made sure that the switches were made back in March.  But I can't go back in time.  I am just so tired of feeling like I have to pay for his mistakes.  Like he is continuing to drag me down just when I feel I am rising above all the crappy parts of the past 5 years. 

I will figure this out.  I can't wait until we have nothing connecting us but the divorce papers.