Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Acceptance

I majored in Psychology in University, and minored in Sociology - but it really should have been the other way around.  I actually ended up taking more courses/getting more credits for Sociology classes.  Of course then I got an after degree in Education and now I am working in the Publication/Business world.  But I digress.

I took an awesome class about the Sociology of Death & Dying.  We took a tour of the medical examiner's office.  We learned about the Kübler-Ross model of the stages of grief.  We also looked at another sociologist, who talked about how the stages existed on a sort of figure eight, and you could enter at any point, go through the 5 stages in any order, and even skip stages (maybe to come back to them later, maybe not).  Kübler-Ross herself said that, "these stages do not necessarily come in order, nor are all stages experienced by all patients. She stated, however, that a person will always experience at least two of the stages. Often, people will experience several stages in a "roller coaster" effect—switching between two or more stages, returning to one or more several times before working through it."

I know that I spent weeks vacillating between denial, anger, bargaining, and depression.  Some of these stages were experienced when I first found those text messages between him and the neighbour, some when he admitted he slept with her (in Sept), and I continued to jump in and out of that figure eight of grief from his work Christmas party in December until now.

Every once in a while I will experience a fleeting moment of sadness or anger - but I truly believe I am entering into acceptance. 

Here I am, continuing to move forward, 6 months after we separated.

For the most part I have taken back my maiden name - including my driver's license, my bank account & all other financial records, at work, and on social media.  I am in the process of changing my marital status with the government.

It feels good.  I feel like I am breaking free.