Monday, March 28, 2011

It's Complicated

Well I was down a total of 15.6 pounds - then I went up .8 (which is nothing) - and then I missed two WW meetings. So this Thursday I will go back, take the consequences of not being totally on the program over the last two weeks, and move forward.

I am still not pregnant. With my husband not working we had not really been trying since our honeymoon in October . . . but on the other hand, I realized this weekend that it has been almost two years since I took my last birth control pill.

April 1, 2009 I took my last pill and on April 5 AF arrived and we starting trying to conceive. That works out to about 26 cycles, and not even a hint of sperm meeting egg. Even if we subtract the cycles where I was planning our wedding, and tried not to have sex around when I thought I might ovulate, that is still 10 cycles where we had a chance.

I have pretty regular cycles, I know I ovulate through temping, ovulation predictor tests and my fertility monitor - so why is this not working? I know I need to get back to a healthier weight, and I have always suspected I may have endometriosis, but lots of women get pregnant with these issues.

I am really starting to think this may have more to do with my husband than me. I know that he has issues with anejaculation (as in he does not finish and orgasm) when he is stressed or not feeling well - maybe this is a bigger problem than I thought?

My plan going forward is to really try (ie lots of sex around the time I ovulate) for the next few months, and if I am not pregnant by our first anniversary we can get some testing done.

I am going to try to relax and just have fun - that is supposed to work, right?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Working - the good and bad

Well my darling husband is now fully employed again! It is such a relief.

The next couple of weeks, until he receives his first pay cheque will be difficult, but after that it will much less stressful.

It's not too far from home, but the bus schedule is a little off in that area, so he ends up having to leave the house at 7:00am and gets to work just after 8:00am when he starts at 8:30am. Oh well, I guess it is time for him to eat his breakfast.

It also is only an average paying job, we were hoping (way back in November), for a new job that paid better than his old one, but at this point we are not going to be picky.

If only I could find a better job. I had yet another stupid disagreement with my boss, and all because I was doing what my manager here in Calgary had asked of me based on the information provided. We need to communicate better as a team. We also need to write proper notes in our database - and also READ the notes that are there. Why would you continue to contact a client if someone else already has? Urgh. I just really hate feeling like I did something wrong, when I am really only 10% to blame. The rest of the issue belongs to my manager, the other person working on the same account in Edmonton, and our VP of sales.

I do not get paid enough to put up with this crap.

But when would I have time to find and interview for another job? And if I do manage to get over those hurdles, what about the whole plan to get pregnant? I would lose out on maternity benefits if I started a new job, and then left on leave before a year.

I just want to have a baby and then find another job. Sounds so easy when you write it like that. Sigh.