Wednesday, June 9, 2010

First comes marriage?

I don't remember when exactly we started discussing having children. I mean actually trying to conceive - not the conversations we had on our first dates about how we both want kids, and what we wanted to name them, and how many.

What I do know is that we were at a party at our friend AC's house, and for the first time we met GP's girlfriend/fiance. Somehow we ended up discussing how I wanted a ring, a wedding ring, on my finger before we got pregnant - and how RW really wanted to have a child, and did not care if we got married first.

By the end of March he had me thinking that having a baby, right now, would be great. I mean I started to think about it all the time and realized it didn't really matter if we were married first.

So April 1, 2009 I took my last birth control pill.

I had been on them since spring of 1998.

Maybe we need to go back and give a little medical history. I started my period when I was 11, and by age 14-15 the cramps were so painful that my dad (a doctor) got me some prescription anti-inflammatory drugs. A few years later and I would end up taking this combination of different over the counter drugs that let me function the first two days AF made her appearance on top of the prescription ones.

When I started BCPs when I was 19 - I remember thinking "why did I not do this when I was 16 or 17?".

I was worried that with going off the pill I would end up back in pain every month - but it actually was not that bad. I take an Aleve and maybe some Tylenol Menstrual - and I am fine.

I also used to have 35 day cycles before the pill . . . now . . . I am pretty much textbook with an average of 28 day cycles.

Ok enough with the TMI - point is I stopped taking birth control pills . . . and . . . nothing.


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Living in Sin

So back in October of 2008 - RW and I moved in together. I love that I get to go to sleep every night in his arms and I don't have to drive 3 hours to spend time with him.

In December of 2008 we traveled back to his hometown - Sydney, NS - for the wedding of one of his best friends. I got to meet his parents and family. I loved it there, and I know, at least for me, that at that point I knew I wanted to marry RW and spend the rest of my life with him.

In February of 2009 we celebrated our first anniversary - and RW gave me a promise ring. He wanted to give me an engagement ring, but he was saving up money for the bling, and he wanted to have his divorce finalized.

Yes, RW was married once before. He was young, and in love, and he wanted to be a dad to her young daughter. They barely made it past the one year mark before they were separated. I could write a whole book about all the drama and lying and betrayal - and I probably will talk about some of it in future posts - but all I have to say right now is that it did not work out.

So back to February and March of 2009 - we started to look at rings. All I wanted was something simple and unique (in fact I even considered using birthstones instead of a diamond), that did not cost more than a month's rent.

Eventually I found something I loved. So, RW began to make payments on it in secret (which was very talented of him as we had opened a joint banking account).

Then we started talking about the future and having children and maybe having kids in the present instead of waiting.

This is where my broodiness began.