Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Losing Weight Without Really Trying

On January 6 I weighed myself at 322.2 pounds.  My highest weight since sometime back in 2005/2006 - I would have to look back at my old weight trackers for exact dates. 

Yesterday I weighed myself at 316.6 pounds.  A loss of 5.6 pounds.  I have not really changed anything over the past 3 months.  Well, that is not exactly true, but I have not been actively trying to lose weight.  No exercise and no food diaries. 

I have been walking more since I lost my old car in February and was forced to take transit for almost a month.  Having no car also meant I was eating out for lunch less, which usually meant I was eating healthier.

Now, personally I think I could have loss a lot more than an average of  about 0.5 pounds a week over the past 11 weeks if I had just got my head in the game back in January.  But it is definitely better than finding myself 5 or 6 pounds heavier.

I managed to do about 10 min of a workout video last week.  I also moved a lot of stuff (magazines and boxes) around (in and out) of my office space at work.  I know how many WW points I am supposed to eat each day.  I have very few "bad" or "trigger" foods in my house at the moment.

Now I just need to continue to move more and eat less.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Emotional Quicksand

We had a St. Patrick's Day party on Saturday.  We put up a few decorations we found at the dollar store and wore funny hats plus green clothes.

It was fun at first.  I made green cupcakes with green icing, which were delicious.  A friend brought over a bunch of hamburgers and we threw them on the BBQ (love that it was warm enough to do that). 

The whole group was together again - including us that is 5 couples.  I cannot remember when we were last all together like this.  There was one evening in September, maybe another one in December.  Of course L&J brought their 7 month old twins, who I adore.  A&L are pregnant, just 6.5 weeks along but they had an IUI so we all knew when she got the positive test.  I actually did not think that she would come, the newly pregnant one, and of course she did have to complain a bit, but I could get over that. 

What blindsided me was that G&D are 18 weeks and had not told anyone.  A little bit understandable as I think this is pregnancy #4 after multiple miscarriages.  What makes me question this is that G was diagnosed with ALS this fall.  Also known as Lou Gehrig's disease - it is fatal - and for 80% of cases that is with 2 to 5 years. 

This is where my emotions go all wacky.  How does this couple end up being the ones that are going to have a baby in August?  A child that most likely will not remember his/her own mother.  I should not judge, but my heart is speaking before my head (at least to myself), and I just do not understand. 

So I was hanging out with 2 pregnant women, and the mother of twins, and I also found out about two other August/September babies this weekend.  One is a co-worker and the other is a University friend.  I am happy for all of them, but I am also hurting for me. 

We are coming up on the 3rd anniversary of TTC - 3 years since I took my last birth control pill.  I should have a toddler or baby of mine own to hold while I hear about the happy news of other couples.  It's hard because part of the reason for our IF is that I use my defensive mechanism of procrastination.  If I had just stuck to WW last year I would be that much closer to being pregnant, if not pregnant already. 

So my emotions are dragging me down a bit today.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Summer Plans

I am so excited.  My in-laws are using their Airmiles to fly us out to Cape Breton in August.  My husband and I have not been back to his hometown since August of 2009. 

2012 is going to be great!  First we get to see my parent's new house in Victoria at Easter.  July will bring back a friend from China for a visit.  September will bring back a friend from Australia for a visit.  One of my best friends is also getting married in July.  It's only March and our summer is already booking up.

So now I have a goal with a date on the calendar.  I want to be healthier for our trip in August.  I want to be able to come home and work on getting pregnant because I feel I am at a better weight.  My husband is totally on board as well.  We are making plans for better eating and exercise together.

Friday, March 9, 2012

So very, very tired

I have not been sleeping well lately.  The biggest reason is this stupid cough leftover from a cold that will not go away. 

It started last Tuesday, February 28 and I had a sore throat and an annoying little cough all day.  I took some Nyquil that night but it kept me from falling into a deep sleep instead of making things better.  I stayed home from work on February 29 - and I slept almost the whole day.  The next 9 nine days have been a mix of feeling better only to be knocked down by a night time coughing attack.  Monday night it was 1:30am, last night it was 3:00am. 

I hate my lungs.  They like to hold on to phlegm and gunk.  I guess it is retribution from them for being born at 32 weeks without pretty things like steroids to pump them up.  Halls are my best friend right now.  That and my mountain of pillows to keep me propped up.  I also love hot drinks with no milk.

My goal for today is to not fall sleep at my desk at work.


Monday, March 5, 2012

My New Wheels

On Thursday my husband and I are going to pick up our new vehicle !

I have posted a couple of times about the issues with my old car. It was a 2003 Grand Am and in the past year I have fixed valve #5 on the cylinder head, the brakes, the alternator, the fan for the heat, and valve #2 . . . . that last one was on Feb 9. Then on Feb 17, on my way to work, the typical car vibrating, engine slowing down and service engine light flashing happened again. I took it in on the Saturday and they looked at it on Tuesday (Monday was a holiday). This time it was valve #4. Needed a new cylinder head. It would cost over $3000 dollars - and the car was not worth it.

So I have been taking the bus since Feb 17. We managed to do some research and look at a few cars. Finally settled on a 2008 Santa Fe. Got a pretty great financing package and some help with the down payment from my parents (who are the best!). I can't wait to go pick it up.