Alone

Thanks for the comments, it feels good to know someone is listening.

I feel so alone right now.

My husband is one of my best friends.  He is my only friend in Calgary.

When I first started dating my husband we still worked at the same company.  He was living with two co-workers (both service technicians), that I also talked to everyday at work.  The "boys" (which included the three that were roommates plus some other service techs) would get together on Fridays to play poker.  I loved driving down and hanging out with all of them.

Slowly they all disappeared from our life.  First one of the service techs moved to the US to be with his girlfriend (they are married now and have 2 kids).  Then one of my husband's roommates and his girlfriend got pregnant, moved in together, and eventually moved to Edmonton for a new job/schooling.

When I moved down to Calgary, we had a new friend that lived close.  We would go over to her house for weekend parties.  It was here that we met G & O, which led us to the fact that A & L lived just down the alley from us.  We formed this tight group of what eventually became four couples (the two mentioned above and J & L).

Now we don't hang out or talk to any of those people.

Mostly because they had a big fallout with my husband in early September.  Yes, my husband's drinking sort of started the problems.  But soon I figured out that they were not really friends, just people we hung out with all the time.  They could see the problems I was having with my husband, and they did nothing to support me.  I talked to the girls of the group about how we should talk and hang out together more often.  I left the ball in their court and it never happened.

We lost another friend as well.  One of my bridesmaids.  But she was really only in our wedding because it made my husband happy.  That is a post for another day.

So here I am, needing to be with friends, and everyone I love is at least 300km away.

To start with I am going to spend extra time in Edmonton with my family and friends over Christmas.  I have from Dec 22 until Jan 1 off work (back on Jan 2).  So I will take the bus on Saturday and not go back to Calgary until the 30th.