Monday, March 4, 2013


I am so confused right now.

I just want it to be April so that I am in Edmonton, getting settled, and surrounded by my family and friends.

My husband has basically left me for another woman - the co-worker that started at his job around the same time as him in September.  He may have moved back into the house we rent together on February 10, but we are in separate rooms, and he has spent about half his nights "out".

It's not fair that I am stuck here in Calgary with no friends, packing up my half of our life together, and he is out having fun.  It's like he doesn't care about me at all, like I and our marriage don't matter to him, and it hurts.

I am still so angry that he would not go to counseling, that he would not do anything to save our marriage.  Instead he turned to another woman.  He is a lazy, dishonest, prick with no respect for me.

When he is home we are nice to one another.  I still have feelings for him.  I can't just turn them off.

I am tired of getting emotional and crying - mostly when he is not around.  My heart is broken and he has just moved on.

He is so inconsiderate.  A couple of times when he has not been home overnight, he has not even had the decency to text me and let me know.  Ass.  I chastised him for it once, and he apologized, and then did it again this weekend.  He said I could text him but I don't want to bug and nag him.  I admit I also like to prove what a jerk he is to me right now. 

I took my wedding ring off after one night when he did not come home.  He has not been wearing his since January. 

We wrote up our separation agreement and he has an appointment to set up his new bank account on Wednesday.  I can't wait until our finances are no longer tied together.  He is so horrible with budgeting.  He went to Banff with his girlfriend (is that what I call her?  Maybe EBC, for evil bitch co-worker, I kind of like that.) over the long weekend in February while I was in Edmonton.  He took my vehicle and did not factor in the extra gas - so I had to pay for that.  Then he overspent again last week and begged me for money before I left for Toronto.  He is in for a huge wake-up call when I move out.  I have no idea how he managed when he was on his own before we moved in together.  I know I should have not given him money, but I just can't be that mean.  I need a backbone.

His mom sent me a facebook message.  She was sad and wished we could have got help.  Well then talk to your son, because it often seems like he listens to you more than me.  I would done anything (well almost anything) to keep us together.  I still don't understand why he gave up on us.

It feels a bit better to get that all out.


  1. Oh Ren, What a mess. Sounds like it is time to cut and run. He obviously is just dragging you further and further down at this point. I am glad you aren't that far away from getting out completely. I can't imagine how hard it must be to watch it all happening to you. But I have to believe it will feel 10,000 times better when you are making an active move in the opposite direction than just sitting there watching him hurt you over and over again. Damn him.

  2. I'm thinking all kinds of nasty thing about him, and wanting to call him names... but I know that won't help you. (Although it might feel damn good in the moment.)

    Hang in there girl. You are worth so much more than him. Someday he'll realize that, but that's his loss entirely.


  3. Hugs.... tears for you reading this....wish I had words to help. X

  4. Things won't always be like this....they will get better. You are making the right move getting away....there is a bright future ahead though it may not seem like it now.

  5. Sending you big hugs, so so sad reading this x