Spring & New Beginnings

I had a really nice weekend.  The weather warmed up, and it just felt nice to experience sunshine and above zero temperatures again.  Two of my dad's cousins came up from Red Deer & Airdrie together to visit with their Aunt (my grandmother).  We went out for dinner and I made them waffles on Sunday morning.

On Sunday I also picked up Kristine from the airport.  She had spent the past week in Parksville, BC (on Vancouver Island) with her parents.  She is going to move out there within the next 6 months or so.  She  submitted her resume to a bunch of places and is looking for work.  She will have to sell her place here in Edmonton.  I will miss her, but she needs to do what is best for her right now.

I have now been back in Edmonton for a year.

I started my new position on April 1st, 2013.  My brothers had helped me move all my stuff from Calgary to Edmonton on March 23.  Then I had to go back to Calgary and work for another week (and during that time I stayed in the guest room at the home of our VP of Sales).  So to me, April 1 is the day when things truly began anew for me.

It has been a tough year, but so much easier than the year proceeding.  I definitely think that moving 300km away from my ex helped me to move on with my life.  It gave me distance and space to become a stronger, more confident woman.

This year will be full of positive changes.  I am truly looking forward to moving into my own place.

Now that the weather has warmed up and I really want to get out there and walk in the evenings after dinner.  I managed to go for a short walk on Monday & Wednesday (and hopefully tonight too depending on the weather).  I dislike all the dirt on the roads and the brown grass and the mud & puddles that are everywhere at this time of year - but I do like that it is now Spring and everything is fresh and starting again.

View of the North Saskatchewan a few blocks from my parents house

Weekly Update: April 2 to 8

Weight Watchers Weigh-In:

Original Weight: 314.8
Previous Weight (March 29): 265.3
Today's Weight (April 5): 264.2
Change:-1.1
Total Loss: -50.6

Total Loss since May 2012: -58
Total Loss since Nov 2005: -72.2

SP Weigh In
Previous Weight (March 29): 262.4
Today's Weight (April 5): 261.0


Woohoo!!!   I have lost 50 pounds since I started back with WW in November of 2012!!

It feels so good to reach another big milestone. Part of me wishes I was losing the weight a bit faster, but I have to stop and realize how much I have accomplished in the past 16 months. With the separation and move back home I could have easily gained weight - but I made a commitment to myself to improve my health instead. To do something for me. I can do this and reach my weight loss goals!

The weather is beautiful outside right now (although a bit dusty - cough, cough).  I went for a walk Monday evening and I plan to go for a walk this evening.

I have an appointment with my real estate agent tonight after dinner, I am excited to start making some progress in looking for a new place to live.

I am also desperate for some new work pants.  I finally found a pair of blue dress pants this fall, and now they are too big for me - so I need to go out this weekend and see if I can find some new ones.

How I Met Your Mother Finale

image courtesy EW

Monday night was the final episode of How I Met Your Mother.  Social Media is full of reactions and mixed reviews.  I needed a few days to think about it.  Overall I thought it was fine, but it could have been so much better, and of course I will share my thoughts:

 - It was sad that The Mother (Tracy) died and that she and Ted were only together for about 11 years.  Of course their life together and her death took place in mere minutes on the screen, so I found it jolting.  The writers did allude to the death in the episode "Vesuvius" when Ted & Tracy visit the Farhampton Inn in 2024.  It's just that we spent the whole season falling in love with The Mother, and investing in her character, and then they took her away.  Part of me feels cheated, part of me thinks that the writers could have still had the death, but they needed to play it out differently.

 - I also think that Ted and his kids in 2030 should be a little sadder about losing Tracy.  They seem to brush her off too quickly.  They could have had a 10 to 15 sec scene of Ted & kids & gang at her funeral showing support.  They could have also just added a line about how much he loved her and how lucky he was to have had 11 wonderful years together.  How about showing the gang supporting Ted and helping him raise the kids?

 - The moment Ted & Tracy meet and stand under the yellow umbrella was perfect.  They had such chemistry and it was so sweet and funny.  That was a great job by the writers and the actors.

 - I also loved the moment Barney held his daughter Ellie for the first time.  That is the Barney that I love.  Tough womanizing guy with a heart of gold underneath.  I do wish they had a scene with him and Ellie when she was older.  Maybe buying her her first party dress (the equivalent of a suit). 

 - I am sort of ok with Ted & Robin ending up together.  It's true that the whole story of "How I Met Your Mother" was mostly about Ted living life in New York before he met Tracy.  Again, I just think they needed to segue better from Ted telling the story to him being under Robin's window.  Maybe it was Tracy's birthday or Ted & Tracy's anniversary - so that is why he began the story.  Maybe a line about how he was ready to meet her and be with her after everything he went through for the past 8 years.  Then show how he was alone for 6 years, not just a flippant remark by his daughter that does not respect his wife and her mother. 

 - There was a point that I thought the ending was going to be the wedding between Ted & Tracy.  They actually could have had this running gag where he keeps proposing to her, but them something comes up to prevent the actual wedding.  Wedding #2 could have been interrupted by her pregnancy with Luke.  Wedding #3 by renovations needed on the house.  Wedding #4 by a death in the family (his or hers).  Maybe in the end she proposes to him and lets him know everything is set up for the wedding to take place on Thursday.

 - I watched the episode twice.  I think it was better the second time, and it actually did make me want to go back and watch the previous seasons again.  I became a regular watcher during season 5 and would watch previous episodes in reruns.  Then I bought seasons 1-4, but I have only watched part of season one.  Too much other television to watch.

 - I was reading all the blogs and posts about the episode, and in that process I found this video - someone edited the episode to erase the death of the mother and Ted & Robin ending up together.

(I would have had a link to the video, but Twentieth Century Fox got the video pulled.  I really liked it too - it started with Ted & Tracy's wedding, went through the photos of their life, but then erased her death and jumped to the scene where they meet at the train station.  Then they show Ted saying "that's how I met your mother" and then the ending credits.  They also erased Ted with the blue horn under Robin's window)


 - Really I just wanted to see the gang in their 60's, hanging out on the porch and watching their kids play together.  Lily kept talking about 'The Front Porch Test", and I can see Tracy there with Ted.

image courtesy http://www.buzzsugar.com

Weekly Update: March 26 to April 1

I had a wonderful weekend.  Spent Saturday (after WW) with Dani  - we went to West Edmonton Mall and I got a new eReader, while she got a new battery pack case for her iPhone - and then we grabbed something to eat at Original Joe's.  After that I went out for dinner with my parents, grandmother and Kristine. 

This week I have been checking in on Kristine's cat while she is away in Parksville visiting her parents. 

Work of course is busy as usual - month end accounting and the mailing lists/distribution summary for one of our contract publications is due today.


Weight Watchers Weigh-In:

Original Weight: 314.8
Previous Weight (March 22): 266.9
Today's Weight (March 29): 265.3
Change:-1.6
Total Loss: -49.5

Total Loss since May 2012: -56.9
Total Loss since Nov 2005: -71.1

SP Weigh In
Previous Weight (March 26): 263.6
Today's Weight (March 29): 262.4


Almost got my 50 pounds ring at WW, just 0.5 pounds away.  I am determined to get it next week.  A small success that I have been having over the past couple of weeks is to make a healthy breakfast sandwich with egg whites and turkey bacon - and bring that along with greek yogurt and a piece of fruit to my WW meeting on Saturdays.  This means I am eating less on weekends.

Still working  on getting more exercise and also drinking more water.  I think the weather is finally warming up so that I can walk more - crossing my fingers.

Weekly Update: March 19 to 25

The weekend before, where I missed my WW meeting on March 15, was a crazy weekend filled with going out for dinner multiple times and lots of delicious food.  So after all that I was back to WW on March 22.


Weight Watchers Weigh-In:

Original Weight: 314.8
Previous Weight (March 8): 266.4
Today's Weight (March 22): 266.9
Change: +0.5
Total Loss: -47.9

Total Loss since May 2012: -55.3
Total Loss since Nov 2005: -69.5

SP Weigh In
Previous Weight (March 8): 263.6
Today's Weight (March 26): 263.6


Not bad at all.  I will take going up just half a pound.  I am really hoping for a 1 to 2 pound loss this week.  On my home scale I was back down to the lowest I have been over the past couple of months.

With Sparkpeople I am taking part in the BL Spring Into Action challenge.  It's the same group of women that I connected with for the Winter challenge.  I really want to do better this time around, but that is not going to happen unless I get off my arse.  I hate sounding like a broken record in regards to exercise.

If the weather would just warm up I could go for walks at lunch and/or in the evenings - but instead we got more snow and wind today.  Some spring we are having so far.  

I Am Important

image courtesy EpiphanysCorner on Etsy - quote by Kathleen Stockett, The Help

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's true what Aibileen says to Mae Mobley in "The Help" - and I too am kind, smart and important.  Somehow I forgot some of this while being married to my jerk ex-husband.

I have been reading a blog about cheating spouses (Chump Lady) and as a result I have come to a few realizations: 

 

I am never going to know all the "whys" - why he frequented pornography sites, why he exchanged naked pictures with numerous women, why he slept with the 20 year old neighbour, why he started an emotional (that I am sure turned physical) affair with his new co-worker.

 

It doesn't matter.  All I would get from him is most likely a bunch of lies.  He cheated because he could.  It's not complicated.  He sucks and there is nothing I can do to change that.  All I can do is move on with my life.   

 

When looking back, although I try to keep that to a minimum, I can see that I was quite different from the other women he "dated".  I am smart.  I have a university degree and an after degree.  Sure, I don't actually work in either of the fields I studied (psychology and education) - but I am not the only one, not by a long shot.  I love reading, intelligent television shows, well written-thought provoking movies, and strategic board games.  It's not my problem that he could not keep up with my quirky mind.

 

Another way that I am different is that I didn't need "saving".  I was not a single mother fighting to make ends meet.  I was not in an abusive relationship prior to meeting my ex.  I was naive about relationships, and so I would not be surprised if he enjoyed being the first man I dated longer than a few weeks, the first man I told that I loved, the first man I moved in with, etc.  Eventually I think he no longer felt superior and actively sought out situations to feed his ego.

I am more of a home body, the type of person who enjoys binge watching a new television show or just relaxing on the couch while finishing up a good book.  I don't need to be socially active every night of the week.  I like my alone time.  I would say that I am more introverted than extroverted - I don't like that feeling of walking into a new situation where I am not sure what is expected of me - and I am happier with a small group of close friends.  I can enjoy just the quiet, peacefulness of a walk in the park.  It was odd to me how he could not keep still and needed to be so active.

Of course it was his charm and charismatic personality that attracted me to him in the first place - but really I am looking for someone quieter.  Someone who is a little geeky, a little nerdy, and has a kind heart.  I have started to put myself out there with online dating, but mostly I am just going to have fun and not worry - not give into the fear of "new things".  

I am worth it, and that is all that counts.

image courtesy breakupgems.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weekly Update: March 12 to 18

Not much to update on the weight loss front as I did not go to my WW meeting on March 15.

It was my mom's birthday and we took her out for dinner on Friday night.  It was my parents, my two younger brothers, the girlfriend of one brother, and myself.  We went to Vivo - the same place we went for my birthday in October - and had copious amounts of delicious, family-style Italian food.

Saturday was my mom's actual birthday - but little brother #1 (the one with the girlfriend) was going skiing in Banff with some buddies, so we stuck to our normal routine of taking my grandmother out for dinner.  Little brother #2 actually came out with us (he normally stays home) and we went to Chili's and had delicious fajitas.

Sunday night we made my mom a dark chocolate tart for dessert and roast chicken with snap peas, squash, mashed potatoes and dressing for dinner.

Surprisingly I did not gain 10 pounds, and I might actually be down a little bit at my WW meeting this week.  Even if I end up staying the same or gaining a bit - I will call it a win.

Where I have made good progress is with getting divorced.  I spoke to a paralegal last night and he drew up the Statement of Claim for Divorce.  He will file next week at the courthouse and then the STBX (soon to be ex) will go into their Calgary office to be served.  Then I receive the papers, sign them, and send them back with a copy of my marriage certificate.  Then I just have to wait for the Affidavit to be signed by a judge - and my divorce will be finalized.  That should take 3 to 6 months.

I think I will need to have a party once I get a copy of the final divorce papers.

I admit, I am a little sad.  Mostly I just want to get this all over with so that I have no reason to talk to my STBX anymore.  Again I am thankful we did not have any children, so that I can actually cut him out of my life forever.

The other change on the horizon is that sometime this spring/summer my youngest brother and I will be moving into a condo together.  We have asked our parent's real estate agent to start looking for available places, plus I have been looking at the MLS listings online.  We want at least a 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath condo in an area that will be convenient to take transit to downtown.  Our budget is around 200,000 to 250,000 - depending on condo fees and what those include.  We are not afraid of something that needs some work (floors, paint, new cupboards, etc) as my brother is really handy and I can help as well.  It just needs good bones.

So I should be living on my own (well mostly, little brother #2 will be there) and divorced and settled by my birthday in October.  Hopefully I will also have lost 30 to 40 pounds by then as well - and be that much closer to my weight loss goal.  The future is bright.

image provided by http://www.motivateplay.com